I is messed up.
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sharon, you're right. sara called.
I is still wanting her. period.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
i went to sleep feeling like crap.
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i woke up feeling worse.
1:03:00 am
My Mobile
in my mobile;
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under calls;
under missed;
there's your name.
in my heart;
under us;
under missed;
there's your name.
when i thought all those misgivings are lost;
i realised that they were just covered in frost.
now the sun is up shining so bright;
melting the frost, leaving me, again, with this neverending fight.
the sun.
ironic.
Saturday, November 25, 2006
she said fight.
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all the way.
do not give up.
all the best.
Friday, November 24, 2006
im happy with my job. but it's super tiring.
:::Monochromed:::
this appointment has a dissapointment.
not the end.
i have an appointment in december. one that i have looked forward to a for a very long time.
yet this appointment, sad to say, is a major disappointment.
doing things for your own selfish reason.
have you ever spared 2 seconds for me?
i still don't have an explanation.
i'm still missing you.
distrust. why?
Sunday, November 19, 2006
And Hansel said to Gretel,
:::Monochromed:::
'Let us drop these breadcrumbs. so that together we find our way home. Because losing our way would be the most cruel of things.'
This year. I lost my way. And losing your way on a journey is unfortunate. But losing your reason for the journey, is a fate more cruel.
i'm glad i found it back. on the right track again.
2:39:00 am
Gorgeous
when you're good looking, you get the girls.
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but when you're charming, you get everything.
so what do you get when you have both?
the best of everything.
Friday, November 17, 2006
there are people that you don't want in your life. but somehow or rather they are just there. you ignore them and they look for you. they call and you don't answer. then they call again. and again. and again. until you answer.
:::Monochromed:::
it's like a talkshow. they're the guest. except that at the end of the show you just can't tell them, "hey. thanks for coming to the show."
Thursday, November 16, 2006
if i had a time machine, i'd travel back to the past. not to change time, cos i'm happy with the way things are right now, but i would want to relive those happy moments.
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over and over and over again.
it's ok not to know. but it's bad if you don't know what you don't know.
get my drift? haha.
i got a job. child's play.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
sweet things only happens when you're sleeping.
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Tuesday, November 14, 2006
being broke. ain't good.
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being broke at this age and this moment of time. ain't good, AT ALL.
i'm left wondering how to continue an enjoyable-happy-money-spending life that people my age should be doing, in the local context of course.
hows nows? i think this is the part where i shout for help.
5:46:00 pm
List of Things To Do
met up with pete and sharon last night. i think pete felt better. i think and hope. well, he smiled.
:::Monochromed:::
sex. making love. fucking. making babies.
different ideas that will still lead to the same gratification.
sara's having her first paper today. she's like worried sick and all. sometimes, if we just sit and think about it, why do we worry about exams? i'm not saying i don't. but just think about it. we have lived through countless exams, each was difficult at that specific age, but we still made it through. so be confident, just study the same way you did in for all those exams and don't forget to pray. if it all works out, you'll pass.
easier said then done. heh. it's a workable theory ok. really.
things to do
- call up schools
- get a job to last until january
- try my best not to waste my life away
it will all work out. as long as you start with the end in mind.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
crossed the checkpoint as at 11th november. starting on a brand new journey.
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glad.
hoping. that i can lead a perfect normal life now. without all the excess baggage. emotional baggage of other people that i shouldn't even be carrying in the first place.
i need to paint a fabulous picture of my life.
money is the root of all evil. not now. money is THE key to survival.
what's the deal with Vivo City?
Thursday, November 09, 2006
woke up with a heavy head and aching heart. heavy head, accounted for. aching heart? not so sure.
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the events of last night was vague. it's like a film strip where a part of it has been cut off. still in a daze. feeling horrible. this taste that linger inside. all of this suck. really. i need to make some changes around here. can't do this anymore. i feel...........guilty. after so long. i should. this is wrong. so wrong. that's it. last night will be the last.
turn up the music and cancel all alcohol orders for this train.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
what's the purpose of actually having a blog? is it supposed to be a medium that lets people be heard? some just want to go with the flow. others need an avenue to release thoughts and feelings that they keep inside. for many, it's an open diary of their life.
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me. this is just a diary. a journal of this train ride of life in which i am the driver, as i bring you through the not necessarily smooth ride of life. i welcome passengers in this train, though i only have 2 carriages. i'm still planning my route and hopefully i don't come across any detours or major mishaps along the way. i have the end in mind and i just want to reach it peacefully. bear with me cos i may drive a little faster at times.
basically, i have a set of loving family, good friends all around, 2 wonderful best friends (Sharon & Pete) and this girl (sara). these people will be the crew in my train. yup.
so here we go. next stop; honesty.
and i have been. with everything. everyone. i have told a handful of white lies. but no worries about that. it doesn't affect anyone. the world won't start revolving the other way round. so yup. i really like sara, though she keeps blowing hot and cold, i still do. a lot that is. my 2 hopes, to celebrate my 24th birthday; holding her hands, with my friends. the second one is to celebrate her 24th birthday; holding her hands, with her friends. i will.
looking at pete. i feel sad for him. i don't know how to help him. i try but how? i can only be there and listen and to say things to make you feel better. i hope he feels better.
mom's birthday today. bought her a book, "To the Greatest Mother on This Special Day." lots of nice quotes and stuff inside. she's 51 this year. i love her. really!
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
all in gear.
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we are set.
3:54:00 pm
Train Station
berg.
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test. test. test.