doesn't life makes you wonder?
:::Monochromed:::
why things are the way they are.
what happpens next.
who is to blame.
where to go from here.
how to get there.
at a certain point you will obtain those answers.
at that point you will realise.
they are just implausible.
then you question yourself.
and the underlying imperfections that surrounds you.
it's human.
but one needs to realise that there's no such thing as perfectionism or best.
nobody and nothing is.
it's all relative.
what one perceives to be perfect.
and i didn't settle for you.
i saw the best in you.
i would never ask for more.
because in this short period of time.
you became the best thing that could have ever happened to me.
and i saw perfections to what you would call otherwise.
and yes, you have your downside(s).
but that's what i like about you.
you're human.
and i can love you.
Friday, February 20, 2009
i think i lost my direction in life.
:::Monochromed:::
as of now, i confirmed that i'm not needed as an AED.
i don't have a store that I work in.
i haven't finished studying for my prelims.
and yet i'm here.
i used to want to be an architect.
now i just want to be 21.
like forever and ever.
guess the aim now is to graduate.
and that only. other things can wait.
but as i sit and ponder at graduating, i realised i also want to do other things.
dk. rugby.
they are the 2 things that i really love to do.
roy would call that 'passion for something'.
then there's work.
and it's taking up almost 18hrs a day.
that includes recovering after a hard day's night.
and by that i meant slogging hard to close down the TRU JP.
so now you get my drift?
i'm a prisoner of my own dilemma.and correct me if i'm wrong.
you're a predator preying on the fallen.
gaining sympathy from the innocent.
your head's getting too big for your shoulders to carry.
and when i thought the tide has turned.
i slipped, not noticing it had turned twice.
maybe i was diarrayed by the thoughts of not seeing you again.
or maybe i was simply wrong.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
if love was easy.
:::Monochromed:::
then this world would be a happily ever after.
if it was easy to love.
then what's the point?
and to define love.
a strong feeling that you have for someone?
someone that's a friend, sibling, soulmate?
when their absence makes the heart fonder?
seriously.
love can't be defined.
it's not quantifiable.
it's not conditional.
it's compromise.
sacrifice.
patience.
trust.
love is atika.
Friday, February 13, 2009
walls came down and dust filled the air.
:::Monochromed:::
remnants of what was once home.
memories filled the air as the dust settled.
and the sound of silence bounce from wall to wall.
and the tide in the affairs of men.
if taken at the flood.
when taken.
standing in deafening silence.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
a year older. they say age is just a number.
:::Monochromed:::
try telling amin that.
snap! haa.
lucky for me i never look a day beyond 18.
so i spent my birthday with the people that matters over 3 fabulous days!
naddy came by at about 8-ish to wish me an advance birthday.
also to pass me a handy laptop bag present and 2 yummy cakes.
so thank you naddy.
your thoughts and presents are well appreciated.
the stroke of midnight saw deng coming into store with cupcakes!
super yummy cupcakes baked, surprisingly, by her and some friends.
i love you for that you know!
then the TRU peeps struck.
we certainly have a unique way of remembering a birthday.
and i certainly was way cooler than a certain 'member' when i'm 24.
snap again!
no doubt about that.
so birthday morning arrived with wishes from parents.
and a possibility of a new DVD player.
then went on a date with deng.
like after so long.
it felt like a first date. one to remember.
vivo-ed for 'Bride Wars' (yan's rating : 3/5)
then carpenter street's Fisherman's Wharf for supper.
and a perfect walk and talk at Henderson's wave to sign the night off.
sunday was lunch treat at sakura from the swiss gang.
and for once i didn't eat that much.
jon, race and fai got me a yak-pak laptop bag!
now i have 2. and fai still hates me.
haha.
then we bowled.
i rock the alley i tell ya.
then home with deng.
thanks for being there all the way.
and simple late night supper with 4/5 of the puake(s).
thank you everyone for a wondeful bithday.
from the smses, the calls and belated wishes.
there is a tide in the affairs of men
which taken at the flood
leads on to fortune
but omitted
and the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and misery
on such a full sea are we now afloat
and we must take the current when it serves
or lose the ventures before us
an unkindness of ravens, a quarrel of sparrows and a gossip of humans.
then the current is served.
to be a better 24 than 23.
of 7th of 2 months.
Friday, February 06, 2009
and what better thing to do while waiting for a lecturer?
:::Monochromed:::
rant about the world.
currently, my world seems to be revolving solely around work.
now, that is not good. not good at all.
then we'll look at the brighter side of it.
which is currently not in light.
however, with the demise of a place i call home, certain things has surfaced.
something unexpected. something emotional. something surreal.
so lets go point by point.
unexpected.
and i have gathered an opulence of evidence to arrive at this.
basically love is in the air.
i'm somewhat guessing as such.
like a certain aged man iis feeling a certain way about a certain person.
and a certain young man is feeling a certain way about a certain person.
emotional.
probably with the closing down of my workplace.
spending 2 years in that place is pretty much a long time.
and to see it close down, or better still, to close it down yourself is bad.
especially with the dispersion of the team.
each and everyone shaped the team and with the dispersion, there's pretty much none left.
surreal.
and i have a certain issue that leaves me hanging.
something i do not wish to discuss here.
but just take note i suppose; there is something else behind this fascade of smiles and laughter.
and to be living the graveyard shit shift.
i'm juggling work, studies and social life.
and i wonder how those people make it through all that.
i will find a way. that was what my mom taught me anyway.
"in the face of any difficulty, count on those that's always there and face that difficulty head on. then while facing it, the answer will emerge and find solace in the fact that you found the answer. "
and once i do....